Sorry I've been away all
I find that all I want to do is be with my little son
although duties usually don't allow this to be

my baby and this war thing
if I had my way, the only thing that would be on my mind right now would be my baby
Unfortunately, this is not the case
so I find myself exploring sentiments inside of me
that I never knew were there
what is most pronounced in my heart about this war
is all the mothers over there with children
little baby's like mine
who are suffering even more than a mortal life should
ten times more if the child is hurt

i mean
i was horrified the day i fell
and my baby was safe on his cushy bottom
and that was hard for me
i who pride myself on my self control
lost all of it - plus some

i can't even imagine what i would do if i lived in iraq...

there was an article a few days ago
about a pregnant woman jumping out of her car screaming in horror
horror
and then the car blew up
and she and her unborn child were killed

incidents like this is why i have decided to become a citizen of the united states of america
i will vote for someone who is not bush
i want my child to have some pride in who he is
and having been born an american
and a texan at that

i almost can't stomach listening to news about the war
it breaks my heart and i honestly feel that if it affects me this way
how is it affecting my son
through me

yes i know that this is not a perfect world
and people asked me
why do i want to bring a child into this ugly world

because there is always hope

and i want to maintain that possibility for my son
therefore
i'll take him to the butterfly museum
and to the children's museum
and to see his grammama
and i'll bring his friends to see him
and i'll sing to him and play with him and love him

and make this as beautiful a world as he deserves