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The Indefinite Article.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Happy Day of Your Birth Carol!

Did you know that on this day in 603 AD in one of your previous lives you were born into a family of goat-herders in what is now the country of Austria? On account of your uni-brow you were considered a great beauty and your fame spread around the region. One day while you and your neighbor (Mellobaude) were goating your herds, a grand procession passed by. Little did you know but in the procession travelled none other than the great Arnulf of Metz. Arnulf happened to see you two and he said to himself, "Dang!" , which in Old German means "Wow!" And so he fell smitten. He asked his man-servant who yonder goat-herdress be and the man-servant, thinking that Arnulf was referring to you (when in fact he was referring to Mellobaude) replied, "Yonder Goat-Herdress be none other than Carolina, of whom many a local bard hath sung".

Well, it turns out that Arnulf never really forgot that day. And many years later, after giving distinguished service at the Austrasian court under Theudebert II (595-612) and leading the aristocratic opposition to Queen Brunhilda of Austrasia that led to her downfall and the reunification of Frankish lands under Clotaire II, he became Bishop of Metz.

Then he retired in 627 and became a hermit and begat 3 kids with his wife Doda. His son Ansegisel married the Mayor of the Austrian Palace's daughter, Begga, and those two begat Pippin II, who begat Charlemagne's father, and is therefore Charlegmagne's great-grandfather.

Anyhow, on his death-bed he told his son: "Son, your descendants will found a great Dynasty and re-establish the Holy Roman Empire. I command thee to name this great and powerful dynasty after a goat-herdress that I saw one day. Her name was Carol, I think." His son swore an oath, and bade his son swear the same oath and so on and so forth and thusly was born the mighty Carolingian Dynasty.


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