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The Indefinite Article.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

HELLO HELLO

HEY EVERYONE,

BEEN A BIT SINCE I POSTED ANYTHING.
ALWAYS FEELS THAT I HAVE COMMUNICATED WITH EVERYONE BY JUST READING THE POSTS.

WELL PORTLAND IS, SUPRISE, RAINING AND COLD, THE GOOD SIDE IS THAT THE MOUNTAIN IS GETTING LOTS OF SNOW.
WENT RIDING UP THERE THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS, IT WAS GREAT. DEFINITLY ONE OF THE PERKS OF LIVING UP HERE.

WORK IS WORK, I AM THERE AS I TYPE, MAKING MORE GROUND BREAKING DESIGNS TO PUT ONTO T-SHIRTS AND JACKETS AND OTHER STUFF TO FEED THE HUNGRY SPORT FASHION BEAST.

GONNA PLAY SOCCER TODAY, FIRST TIME IN ABOUT 4 MONTHS....... HAS IT REALLY BEEN THAT LONG, GEEZE OH PETE, TIME HAS A WAY OF MOVING ON.

GONNA SUIT UP AND HIT THE PITCH AT LUNCHTIME. DURING THE WINTER WE PLAY ON AN ARTIFICIAL FIELD, SO I WILL SEE HOW THAT A(E)FFECTS MY KNEES. NOW THAT WE ARE ALL OLD I CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT MY PHYSICAL AILMENTS AND FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT BEING IN COMPANY THAT UNDERSTANDS.

I WOULD PUT A LINK TO MY DISSERTATION ON THE WORKINGS OF MY DIGESTION AND IT'S OUTCOMES BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ONE OF THOSE FANCY BLUE HIGHLIGHTED LINK THINGS. SO YA'LL WILL JUST HAVE TO IMAGINE.

OKAY, HERE IS A STORY.

LAURA LOVES TO COLLECT ALL THINGS NATURAL.
THINGS SHE PARTICULARLY LIKES ARE THE MADE THINGS OF BIRDS. THE OBVIOUS BEING NESTS, WHICH SHE HAS A BUNCH OF, BUT ANOTHER ONE IS OWL PELLETS, OR HAWK PELLETS. THESE BEING THE REGURGITATED MASSES OF TINY RODENT THEY HAVE CONSUMED. IT IS JUST LIKE IT SOUNDS, A PELLET OF BONES AND FUR.
THERE IS THIS PARTICULAR STAND OF FIR TREES THAT HAS THESE PELLETS IN ABUNDANCE. THEY ARE EASY TO SPOT ON THE NEEDLE COVERED GROUND BY THE WHITISH BONES THAT PROTRUDE THROUGH THE GREY FUR. MOST OF THE TIMES YOU WILL SEE A PIECE OF A SKULL.

WELL WE HAVE COLLECTED ABOUT 25 OR SO OF THESE THINGS, AND THEY CAME IN HANDY THIS YEAR ROUND CHRISTMAS.

WHILE THE GIRLS WERE IN WEST VIRGINIA, BEFORE I WENT OUT TO JOIN THEM, I TOOK SIX OF THESE PELLETS AND SOAKED THEM IN WATER OVERNIGHT, THE NEXT DAY I GOT AN X-ACTO KNIFE AND SOME TWEEZERS AND SET TO THE BACK BREAKING TASK OF SEPERATING THE BONES FROM THE FUR. NOW IF YOU IMAGINE THE SIZE OF AN OWL OR A HAWK MOST OF THEM ARE A DECENT SIZE, HOUSE CAT SIZE, NOW PICTURE THEIR MOUTHS, THESE LITTLE RODENT HAVE TO BE ABLE TO GO DOWN THAT HATCH, SO THE LITTLE FURRY MEALS ARE NOT VERY LARGE.

THERE WAS A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF HOLDING VERTEBRAE, THAT WERE QUITE A BIT SMALLER THEN AN ERASER ON THE BACK OF A MECHANICAL PENCIL WHEN IT'S OF NO USE ANY MORE, AND PUSHING WET TUFTS OF HAIR OUT OF THE HOLLOW THAT USED TO HOUSE THE SPINAL CORD. TINY TAIL BONE, LEG BONES, RIBS, AND OH THE BEAUTIFUL JAW BONES.
NOT TO MENTION THE DELICATE AND METICULOUS SKULLS COLORED BY THE LIFE THAT AT ONE POINT HOUSED THEM IN FLESH FUR AND BLOOD.
NATURE HAS A WAY OF CRAFTING THINGS SO DELICATE AND PURPOSEFUL THAT TO HOLD THEM IS TO ONCE AGAIN BE IN AWE OF ALL THAT GOES UNNOTICED.

AT THE END OF TWO LONG EVENINGS AND 10 CDS OF THE AUDIO VERSION OF GREAT EXPECTATIONS, I HAD AMMASED ENOUGH MATERIAL TO START THE PRESENT I WAS TO MAKE FOR LAURA.

I HAD PURCHASED A SHADOW BOX FROM THE LOCAL ART STORE, 8 X 5 X 4DEEP
I NOW SET TO THE TASK OF SUPER-GLUING BLACK SPRAY PAINTED TOOTH PICKS TO THE BACKS OF THE SKULLS AT VARIOUS ANGLES. WITH A PAIR OF TINY PLIERS I SUNK THE TOOTHPICKS INTO A PIECE OF BLACK SPRAY PAINTED CARDBOARD.

THIS WENT ON TILL I HAD A ROW OF SKULLS DOWN THE CENTER OF THE BOX, ALL AT DIFFERENT ANGLES. I THEN MADE SHELVES ON EITHER SIDE OF THE SKULLS AND ARRANGEDS THE SMALLER BONES.
THE RESULT WAS AMAZING. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE TIMES YOU STEP BACK AND ARE FLOORED THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO BE A PART OF WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED.

WELL NEEDLESS TO SAY I CRAFTED A SPECIAL BOX TO HOLD THIS IN SO THAT I COULD TRANSPORT IT TO WEST VIRGINIA.

ALL WENT WELL. I GOT IT THERE AND GAVE IT TO HER, AND SHE CRIED IN DISBELIEF AT OPENING AN HONEST SUPRISE.

WELL WE PACKED IT BACK INTO IT'S BOX AND STARTED OUR TRIP HOME.
CHARLESTON W.V. IS A SMALL AIRPORT AND THE PLANES THAT FLY OUT OF IT ARE GENERALLY SMALL, THE KIND WITH TWO SEATS ON EITHER SIDE OF AN ISLE. WELL MY SEAT WAS ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK ACROSS FROM THE TOILET.
SO EACH TIME ONE OF MY FELLOW TRAVELERS FELT MOVED, I GOT TO GET TO KNOW THEM IN THE MOST PERSONAL OF WAYS.
SO WHEN THE PLANE LANDED, I WAS READY TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT FUNK. SINCE I WAS AT THE BACK I WAITED TILL ALL OF THE WALKING SHIT FACTORIES GOT OFF BEFORE ME.

TRAVEL IS TOUGH.

AND AS WE BOARDED THE PLANE IN CHICAGO TO GO HOME, IT OCCURED TO ME.

MY PRECIOUS PARCEL WAS NOT IN MY POSSESION. IT WAS STILL QUIETLY SITTING UNDERNEATH SEAT 13B ON FLIGHT 6868 FROM CHARLESTON TO CHICAGO.

AFTER 400 MESSAGES ON THE O'HARE LOST AND FOUND ANSWERING MACHINE, THE AIRLINES LEFT A MESSAGE TO SAY THEM HAVE IT.

WE'LL SEE. I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE FED-EX THAT THEIR MESSAGE SPOKE ABOUT.

DONE.

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