Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Dinner Diaries

The Dinner Diaries
wow
that's all i can say
it makes me go back to when i kept a diary at work while pumping adolfo's milk
ha
you can imagine the physical talent it took for me to get into a position comfortable enough to write the daily one page soliloquy in pencil to my son
i don't know when he will read these notebooks
after a while i'd collected about 6 filled 5"x7" notebooks of random thoughts peppered with i love yous to the little boy i was feeding from distance
i tried to talk about things that i'd done that day or thoughts i had about things i'd seen
sometimes it was hard to write a full page so on these occasions lots of love love love words to my boy
i kept a framed picture of him to look at as inspiration, all the literature about nursing, working mothers recommended this set up so that i could produce lotso milk for my baby
sometimes i knew why i was writing and did so with a purpose
mostly i recorded events, and not very well i'm sure
the notebooks have a place on our bookshelves in the living room
nobody will notice them, partly because the people who come see us are bombarded with the living chavezes and probably cannot think about what we might have housed on our shelves
and partly because there is much more to look at on those two shelves
but one day i know adolfo and paola will come across them
and when they do, i wonder what they will think, i wonder what it will mean to them...

2 comments:

colin said...

now that is what I call a contribution to the blog.
Beautiful Carol.

Secret pages on the shelf....all the real feeling housed in an unassuming arrangement.

CarolinaDivina said...

thanks colin - did you get a look see at the dinner diaries - now that i'm home - i really hope i have more time to read...we shall see

secret word is sonal
as in
i have a pain in my sonal area...