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The Indefinite Article.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Am I right to be a bit weirded out?

I feel weirded out, and by weirded out I mean flippin grossed-out to the flippin max.
Here’s how it went down~
I’m doing my usual gym routine. I leave at lunch to lift heavy things, as is my habit. When I arrive, the charmingly underpaid and most likely underage person behind the desk lets me know that there are no clean towels and that I’ll just have to work out without one. Not overly keen on this, but it’s all I got, so I just won’t work out as hard as I’d normally like.
Anyway, so I get through my gym stint and I make my way to the locker room to find an Older Guy toweling off. It was definitely a gym towel, you can tell cause they have this blue stripe down the center that let’s you know they’re not yours. That said:

JP: Hey did they have more towels?
Older Guy: No. They had like four when I got here and I got one of the last ones.

He’s looking at me and continuing the “toweling”

JP: Ahh. Oh well.

OG at this point is really going at it. Toweling himself off, like the wetness just won’t stop a’coming, south of the equator not withstanding. He really got that part dry.

OG: Hey, you know you can use this one when I’m done if you want. I don’t think I got that sweaty up there.
JP: Hey, you know as tempting as that offer may seem…

I didn’t need to finish, Older Guy pretty much put it together that there are limits to the phrase “caring means sharing”.
Had I taken him up on the offer, I can’t imagine how much further to the opposite end of the spectrum from clean I would have felt. I venture to guess OFF THE SCALE!

What is it with older men and just “hanging out” in the nude? I guess it’s cool that they’re all cool with who they are and the way god made them and everything, but there comes a point where it’s just excessive. One of the older guy’s friends managed to bring a towel of his own and they were talking for couple minutes…just naked…as you do. Then, little friend excuses himself to the toilet, still nude, but with towel in hand, but dragging it behind him…on the locker room floor… and then into the toilet stall!
*wretch!* *urp!*
He dried off with it later…
Now I’m the farthest thing from a Germaphobe, but if I had to give prize for disgusting, that would take the soap cake.
Where are these people from, and why hasn’t their race died off from some feculent-ridden illness?

I’m so weirded out…
Someone please call my pharmacist.


  • OG's have this saying:
    "What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger."
    OG's grew up with-out air-conditioning.
    Most washed their hair with bar-soap.
    anti-bacterial was space-age shit.
    My father-in-law is one of those OGs.
    Had I known there would have been something
    included in my wedding vows along the lines of:
    "Honor, respect, death till we part and you shalt never see another Riddle naked."
    Todd, keep that in mind.
    Being a gym user your-self do you have problems the occasional "sight-see-er" in the gym.
    They pop in walk around for about 1/2 to a full hour
    ,sometimes they just hang around in the back, sometimes they meander next to or on machines with-out breaking a sweat?
    It's always distracting.
    Normally they are goofy looking wearing the wrong footwear.
    This is what weirds me out, and yes feel free to take a extra shower to help you feel clean.

    By Blogger taggart, at 4:29 PM  

  • I think somwbody took a picture of me with their phone in the locker room at the gym yesterday...

    By Blogger JP, at 11:45 AM  

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