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The Indefinite Article.

Friday, January 20, 2006

...And Now I Can't Hate on Her

Alright here’s the sh*t. Every Thursday I go to the same fricken spinn’n class ‘cause the teacher of said class is a freak and I can’t help myself but to go because I’m afraid she’ll beat my ass if I don’t show.
She’s Australian and a hoot but the point of this little anecdote isn’t her at all, but one of my fellow cyclists…
Mindy has a problem, namely me. She’s a tiny little waif of a woman, Asian and altogether cute. She never has anything bad to say to anyone and is polite to everyone she comes across, asking about people’s kids. “How’s your new job going?
I can’t stand her. She has this habit of screaming…the entire class she screams. Here I am trying to get ZEN with it, and she’s beltin it out like she thinks she’s Xena er something. It’s really pissing me off ‘cause I’m trying to get one with my universe and Hello Kitty over there is Yodeling for ¥en. Every time she did it I would drift off to some place that allowed me to lift her off the bike and launch her into the far wall. I know I’m a bad person for thinking it, it’s just that that was my time and she’s intruding on it. I was pissed because I was spending too much energy focusing on hating her and not on my performance.
After class, I get off my bike and stroll on over to say something to her. She has done this in EVERY class and I’ve had it! What I didn’t see was that the chick just to the side of her had dropped the bottle cap to her water on the floor. I’m so focused on ruining Hello Kitty’s day, that I didn’t see measly little bottle cap. I step on it and then immediately connect with floor with a none-too-gracious thud.
That SUCKED! Good one JP! Truly Intimidating! Dumb-butt.

Mindy: “Ohh baby are you okay? I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?”
Dumb-butt: "Yeah I’m okay (not okay). Just ate shit is all."
Mindy: "You really went down hard (I've heard that before). You need some help?"
Dumb-butt: "Naw…I got it. Thank you for offering. I appreciate it."
She put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me like she was truly concerned with whether or not I was okay. Then the dropper came a’lookin for her bottle cap.
Dropper: “Oh this was my fault. I dropped this on the floor. This is all my fault.”
Dumb-butt: “Yeah…It’s okay.” I handed her the cap, humbled and sheepish.

And that was it. Totally disarmed. Now I have to endure the battle-cry for all future spinnin classes. The stupid bottle cap dropper foiled my plans and now I’m forced to take the high road…You can truly tell that Mindy is one of these people that has a genuine soul. I’m glad divine intervention stopped me from snarking all over it. I’ll learn to deal with the screaming.
Y'all have a great weekend.


  • Nice one JP.
    It's good to hear the karma police are looking out for you. Sounds a bit like your gaurdian angel is one of the three stooges.

    Maybe you could pretend that she is Lance armstrong trying to catch up to you.

    By Blogger colin, at 4:15 PM  

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