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The Indefinite Article.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Everybody Relax, My Teeth Are Fine

My Dad has rarely given me advice, but he did tell me once that regular trips to the dentist will make my life immeasurably easier. He gave me that sage advice about 10 years ago. Coincidentally (top that one todd), 10 years ago was also the last time I went to the dentist...

So as I headed to my dentist appointment this tuesday I was very nervous. I reviewed the status of my mouth: My gums had started to bleed when I brushed. My front teeth were chipped and cracked in a couple of places (maybe the roots were dead!). All of my teeth had lost the pearly white color of youth and health and now they looked like exhaust pipe smoke and smoggy yellow slats of broken concrete! I was surely doomed! In headiness of youth I had discarded my father's advice and now all of my teeth were rotten! I probably had 20 cavities, periodontitis and the dentist was probably going to recommend immediate emergency root canal surgery with no anaesthesia so as to teach me a lesson...

I almost cancelled my appointment. It is pathetic but I have had health insurance for almost a year but I avoided making a dentist appointment until now because I did not want to know for certain that I had done what I suspected I had done: irrevocably fucked up my teeth.

You see, I am weak. If I have some kind of worry or anxiety, rather than confronting the problem and finding out the truth of the matter I prefer to let the matter wallow in pool of probability and possibility until this pool starts to stink so much that I can't sleep any more and then maybe, maybe I will deal with the issue but most likely I will let the wallowing go on for a while longer until something forces my hand. So anyhow this whole oh my gosh i fucked up my teeth thing was typical...

But this tale has a happy ending because upon the recommendation of a co-worker I went to Dr. Schade's office where Connie the super nice hygienist spent a great deal of time and energy scraping the crap off my teeth all the while explaining sweetly and intelligently how yes I had some work to do get my teeth back in shape, but no I had not irrevocably fucked them up.

So at the end of they day I am happy to report that I do not have periodontitis, nor any cavities, and my front teeth while chipped and cracked are otherwise healthy.

But have I learned my lesson?


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