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The Indefinite Article.

Monday, December 19, 2005

The Movie Post

Alright I saw Brokeback Mountain. I loved it, and I’m secure enough to admit that I squeezed out a tear or two. The heterosexual couple in front of us were so broken up that they were actually consoling one another…This made me feel a little better about myself, because the breeder guy turned out to be a more of a woman than me. Some folks feel it doesn’t move quite as fast as they’d like. If that’s the sort of movie that they want…I’m sure there’s a movie about a Giant Gorilla that can accommodate them. This is a love story. It will most likely make you feel like sitting in the tub with a Pearl Light, piecing together all the places where they could have skipped off together, holding hands, to the land of happy endings…Yeah shut up…so what if that’s what I did…yes there were bubbles. We spent the rest of the weekend driving around listening to country music which I usually don’t have an ear for.

Anyway, great movie. This is the first movie that really addressed the plight that gay people had to endure in that specific environment. I’m not going to go into the particulars, but this movie is important and I recommend it to people over 18.

That said, I actually saw some guy take his 11-year-old (approx) daughter into the BBM and felt really uncomfortable with that…It’s a rated-R movie about two gay cowboys, it’s not like he didn’t know what he was getting into…
There’s a line when it comes to exposing your child to new things that just shouldn’t be crossed. I remember being in the same room with my mom and watching Dirty Dancing and feeling really really creepy…This I imagine made that experience look like an afternoon of ice cream and tickle-fights by comparison. That little girl was looking for the ejection-button on her movie seat. I think I heard her praying once.
“Dear Jesus…Anything, flying monkeys, gypsy abduction, anything!...Amen. ”
…poor little lamb, I wonder if she was told she was gonna see the Princess Diaries, and instead she got the Princess Mammaries. (That’s right, Anne Hathaway breaks out the twins.) I pray she was spared the “discussion” after the movie with her old man.
“Well honey, sometimes cowboys are secretly frequently fond of one another…and when that happens, one cowboy takes the other cowboy and…”
That therapy bill is gonna be huge.


  • So this movie is not like an extended version of the Dusty and Lefty skits in a Prairie Home Companion? I was really looking forward to that!

    By Blogger Adolph, at 11:27 AM  

  • It's like that only by way of the skeletal premise. Beyond that...nope. It's a downer...

    By Blogger JP, at 3:47 PM  

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