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The Indefinite Article.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Show Your Bones

I would attach the scans Killy did of my x-rays but he has not passed them on to me yet.
So I attach these pretend ones.

So I started AShtonga Yoga with Liz several months ago. I really liked it. It felt awesome, I could tell it was a nice mixture of is-o-kinetic resistance to strengthen my core and a supplemental cardio workout. I felt limber.
Then my past came up and kicked me in the ass. I dislocated my shoulder in a car accident when I was 9, and since then when-ever I do more than 15 minutes of aggressive activity, it begins to burn so bad that I can not raise my arm over my shoulder.
It killed my yoga aspirations dead in the water.
I made plans to do something about it. See a doctor and get better. Move on.
After a month I finally saw a general practitioner, his X-rays were inconclusive.
After another month I took those same X-rays to a orthopedic specialist.
He recommended a MRI, because he could not tell much by way of the X-Rays.
That was last week.
Today I went to St. Lukes and had my very first Fluoroscopy and M.R.I.

First things first.
1. Two X-Rays-Nothing like a healthy dose of radiation.
2. I dont know what the purpose of the X-rays but I guess it was for the Fluoroscope.
or Back-up.
3. If you dont know what a Fluoroscope is (I didn't), Imagine a moving X-Ray.
It's SUPeR-bAdASs!!!!!!! (except for all the harmful radiation)
4. They used the Fluoro to check and see if they were putting the contrast improving
fluid they were injecting with a very long needle into my shoulder in the right place.
(It sucked but not as bad as it sounded thanks to Anesthesia, so it sucks more now that
such pain reducing injections have worn off)
5. Despite the pain, irritation, embarrassing gown, and radiation I cannot tell you how
awesome it was to watch, in real-time, my bones moving around (sans flesh) on T.V.!!!!!!!!
6. Sooooooo, after all that fun it was time for the MRI, the FINALE!!!!!!
Before the MRI I was asked about a billion times if I was claustrophobic.
I always said no, but truth be told maybe I am a little bit.
I will talk about that in more in detail later.
After the MRI the operator asked how it was.
I spent 35 minutes inside the machine, and there were 3 things
I thought about to self-sooth. (truth-fully)
A. How wonderful Liz is.
B. How I could explain this to Todd.
C. What I could say after-ward to make the operator laugh.
So I was more than pre-pared for the question.
""It was like being trapped in a coffin, on-stage, at the worst rock concert ever."
He Laughed.

It was really loud. and very cramped. I cannot see how ANYONE could fit in those things.
I am not a big person. Adolph is bigger than me but I dont consider him obese or have
a negative size association with him. However I dont see how he could fit inside it.
I dont think Adolph sized people were the reason they invented those open MRI's either.
I closed my eyes real-real tight and did not open them I couldnt or I would have flipped out.
I knew it was tight, too tight, but I pretended that there was an extra inch or two between me and the walls.

The whole experience was crazy, I know it will be worth it in the long run, but I am glad it is over with.


  • dang....

    By Blogger pablo, at 11:29 AM  

  • that's awesome.. oh yeah, i'll burn those scans to disk for you today.

    By Blogger Killy, at 12:01 PM  

  • I think you did a good job of describing what it feels like to get an MRI. It does take a certain amount of self-soothing to oversome the natural instinct to panic, but once you get over the initial fear, curiosity kicks in and you start trying to imagine how you will describe the space-age noises when you come out, what your brain will look like and whether they will find anything really weird, etc. It's one of those experiences that everyone should have at least once.

    By Blogger Amber Freda's, at 5:16 PM  

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