I hereby demand more drawings of socially awkward, slightly sheepish robot-type-people!
get it done.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
"Recently, we had a garage sale and your little man wanted these," she explained. You can read the note she left him in one of the lunchboxes here. That's far better than me retelling it.
I find it amazing that he is already making trails into other people's lives, however small, as his own person.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Recently, i began a new flash project for Dr. C - it came to me late and i spent the first day trying to figure out how to approach the project - do i do it all xml-ly and cool? Do i construct it author-time? Uncertainty gripped me. It wasn't until the next day that i finally started putting the pieces together in flash - mocking up menus (i ganked the look of the access wayfinding 'dot' although not nearly as expertly) etc...
I have a tumultuous problem solving process. It's like a hurricane of uncertainty, fear and doubt inside of me, so when i came upon this cool problem solving chart i thought there may be some hope for me. Some process that i can follow to help me overcome the whirlwind of emotions that paralyze me at the very thought of doing/making decisions/etc...
Anyone else have problems with this?
p.s. - cool link:
View your flickr photos fullscreen in safari!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The web sure brings us some outrageous stuff.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Saturday morning i woke up, showered the sleep off my body and met the Katz guys at UH for a soccer game. The UH field was chosen after Rodrigo lightly twisted his ankle and a few others had taken some nasty spills on the field on Fairview, which we had moved to after having gotten kicked off the fields on Stella Link. I went into the game strong, with two solid goals, but lost my energy after 30 mins or so. The last 15 minutes i was useless. I passed as soon as the ball was given to me.
From there i sped home and picked up Adolfo IV for his 10:00 soccer game at the YMCA. We showed up right before halftime. It's a good thing he isn't really enthusiastic about playing or else i would have felt pretty bad about that. The problem is, he only wants to play soccer with his daddy. When he tried to play with the kids, he gets angry at them for taking his ball away and at his worst, throws a crying fit on the practice field. At the last practice (wednesday) i had to hold his hand while we were on the field in order to get him to follow the crowd of running little people that ran after the ball. It was positive, i think; he was laughing and enjoying himself.
When we got to the game, the ref blew the halftime whistle and while the rest of the kids ran in for a break, adolfo and i practiced together out near one of the goals. He kicked it in the goal and yelled GOAL! and threw him in the air (he loves that). When the kids ran back onto the field coach Ron Charle put Adolfo in. He had a good two minutes - he even managed to get his foot on the ball, but after a bit he just walked back towards his daddy on the sidelines. I wasn't going to let him get away with that so we played together there on the sidelines, until he just wanted to sit and watch the other kids play.
Liz and Taggart showed up while i was napping off my soccer game. What a pleasant surprise that was. It felt wonderfully normal. Adolfo was running around the backyard pretending to be Samurai Jack and Paola was, again, asleep. Infants are so easy.
What happened the rest of Saturday escapes me at the moment, prolly because i was really happy with how Sunday turned out. I woke up around 8, ironed shirts for both adolfo and i and we went to church. I hadn't been to church in awhile. It was oddly comforting - I guess cause i spent a good portion of my childhood in church with my mother finding particular comfort and support from it. We were heavily involved. I was a star altar boy (of course i was), an usher when i came of age, and eventually president of the youth group. My mother was a coach for the girls softball team for a number of years, she eventually became a reader, and then an euchaistic minister. She also happened to meet my step-father, Bob, there who was also a familiar face around the church. He was a member of the Knights of Columbus, and did all the BBQ-ing for various church functions, and i believe had a hand in the Bingo at St. Mark's before it went away. Sitting in the pews with Adolfo fidgetting next to me i indulged myself in these memories.
Back in the car Amber&Adolph called for a breakfast meet-up. We met at El Rey just down the street from their place. (Mental note: i'll be spending more money there). They looked great. Amber has such a wonderfully bright, freckly, smily face. Sitting there i realized i really had missed adolph. I'm looking forward to hanging out.
We managed to hang at his place just long enough for carol to feed Paola and Adolfo to run up and down the stairs a few times. We got back home just in time to take carol's parents to church for the spanish mass; for me to build a contraption to take holga type pics with my D80; and for us to be here for a visit from Sara Cress who brought us yummy homemade blueberry muffins.
It was a good weekend.
I finally made it down to Richmond to see my sister Susan and my new nephew Christopher (Dutch). I took the train. It was a about a 2 hour trip through some beautiful country…
We had a great time visiting the National Folk Festival and eating good eats and going to the park and just doing family stuff. It sure is nice to live close to my sister…
I put some footage of the trip up on youtube
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Friday, October 06, 2006
Adolfo Fidel Chavez IV (Big Brother) and Paola Isabel Chavez (Little Sister)
Originally uploaded by killy.
i wasn't sure what to expect
but again was dealing with a strange sense of
what's the appropriate word
loss is not it
but something similar
something sad and private
when i checked in
killy was gnawingly nervous and excited - my mother was dutiful - my mother-in-law was electric with anticipation
and there i was - sort of forlorn and sort of reverential (???)
in any case
and taken through every step of registration, admission and prepping quickly and without any problems
the anesthesiologist was very nice - talkative, not overly friendly nor inapporpriately personal - simply a genuinely nice guy - competent, knowledgeable and warm - and quite tall too - he and killy started talking camera - my nurse was named poppy - and she looked like one too - teeny, delicate and sweet with the most straightforward gaze i've come across - it made me aware of how much her surgery mask hides from view - and it made me wonder if with that strong gaze she could see the mysterious sadness i felt - maybe she could tell me what it was
i was splayed flat on a table bed
killy was placed to my right amid wires and guages and beeping machines
i couldn't feel a thing
everyone was smiling
so was i
it was my auto-response to strange situations - try to make everyone comfortable - smiling ensures everyone that i am ok and do not require any special attention
i took a personality test once - my main color was yellow in conflict - i tend to become friendlier in difficult situations in order to avoid conflict
so there i was - smiling a bright yellow smile - trying clearly toidentify and place each and every emotion that was ricocheting all around inside of me
anesthesiologist told killy - twice - stand up stand up and look
he pulled down the blue curtain and killy stood up
he had a full view of the doctors actually pulling her out of me
and he got those shots too
and then i heard her
and all i could see was blue and killy's chin under his camera
and tears welled up in my eyes
then killy was sitting again and i looked over at him - he was crying too - soft deep personal sobs - almost not even there they were so quiet
then killy whispered
the curtain was pulled down lower - i stretched my neck to look aover the top
and there she was
they let me look at her
and i couldn't see anymore
there were too many tears
i was aware of an emptiness
i held her while they sewed me up
when adolfo came into the room later - he was wearing his school uniform - i'd made careful arrangments for mamalynda to be the one holding paola so that adolfo wouldn't freak out - i didn't know what to expect
he walked straight towards her in his grandmother's lap - he didn't even notice i was in the room - he approached her and said something like
there's paola my little sister isn't she beautiful
and he rubbed her head
all my sad feelings disappeared
here is my son holding his little sister and here is my beautiful daughter - together in this world
everything is complete
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I was right! Babies are hardwired for screaming!
Congrats to Carol, Killy, L'il Killy and the various and sundry grandpeople on the timely arrival of Paola Isabel Chavez, all happy and hairy!
i slept fitfully this morning - i 'd like to say that it was the anticipation that kept me tossing and turning at three o'clock in the morning - but it was something less exciting and more torturous - i was plagued by indigestion and reflux again - but then this has become a nightly (daily) ritual for the last 3 weeks - i'd almost forgotten about this - the best part of my pregnancies - it's the part when modesty is a forgotten and impractical concept and all you can do for comfort is stroll around scratching your belly in the glorious familiarity of your own skin - regardless of who is around - it's a good thing you all stayed away
but now - in the romantic and soft misty morning - killy hovering like a nectar intoxicated drone is going over the final checklist - diaper bag, overnight bag, magic marker - my mother and father quietly bickering back and forth about the health pros and cons of oatmeal (translate: mucho popo in the coco) - and paola - roiling around in my belly, silently screaming for food - it is becoming all too real
her bedroom is ready and waiting - killy did a beautiful job and now it's fully stocked (lots of adolfo inspired clothing) - finished up some last minute shopping for the room last night - had to change the lightbulbs and get a bassinet sheet and a couple of other things i can't remember - but it's all there - in it's peaceful pink and yellow - waiting
i'm so tired - and so excited - and worried
will my beautiful boy suffer at all - will i neglect him to care for her - will he grow to hate her because she has taken me away from him
how do i address these things if they come up
she will buy him a bike and will present it to him upon her arrival - he will have a gift for her - a project that his grandmother will help him to realize - when he first lays eyes on her, she will be in his grandmother's arms - he and i will continue our nightly bathtime/reading/prayer ritual which will become our time
i hope it doesn't break his heart
killy buzzes by
so what songs will paola inspire?
here's adolfo's list
- popo in the coco
- baby's got the hiccups, hiccups, hiccups
- baby, baby
we have a camera, a video camera and all sorts of other goodies to capture fleeting accomplishments
she'll fill a book - just like adolfo
next question - do we spend 45.00 for adolfo's pre-k yearbook?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I'll use that one for Paola's birth.
Adolfo came home wth a smiley face on his conduct sheet. We walked home together today, just he and i. We watched for cars as we walked down Georgi Ln, and crushed leaves beneath our feet on the sidewalks. He picked up lost acorns and said hi to the neighbors. I wish i could do that more often...
Yesterday, Adolfo comes home from school with a 'sad face' on his conduct report and i take him for a talking walk. We walk to the end of the street and i ask him what he did today. He is coy about it - talks softly. I let him get it out and then get on my knees and explain what he did wrong and what he did right. I tell him what not to do and why he shouldn't. I explain his punishment and he sighs heavily like his mother.
I slept in Paola's room last night. It was cool, clean, and inviting. The crib is swollen with pink linens and the changing table is fully stocked with all the familiar supplies. We are prepared for the usual, but as i'm lying there i can't shake the feeling that i am forgetting something; something important. In the dark i realize that i haven't been touching her belly as much as i did with adolfo. I didn't play the guitar nearly as much as i did when adolfo was in carol's belly. I haven't read to her. I haven't spent the time considering what i would do when she was born, I've taken it for granted that i am ready for what she has to dish out.
Soon after that i fell asleep. I didn't come to any conclusions - i'm still not sure if we are ready, but i know for sure we were just as jittery when adolfo's birth neared - i was full of regrets (i didn't have a home for him) and full of uncertainty ...
Yesterday, we bought batteries for this super-ultra-cool toy. He loved it. He was shrieking with laughter in the backyard. Shrieking. Laughing. It was a sound like i'd never heard as potent as his first shrieks of birth. I watched him from inside and then ran out to join him with my camera.